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not quite regret

By Tara Zandra | March 1, 2008

I’m very into the idea of turning the house more child-centered, as I mentioned previously. Right now there are toys everywhere simply because we have a lot of toys. But I really want more themed areas. For instance, I want to get a play store to go next to the play kitchen and then only related toys would be kept there. I’ve mentioned our proposed music and art corner in the living room and the girls’ bedroom is already just for fairy houses, dress up and the dollhouse. Two problems that prevent all my ideas from being instantaneous would be space and money. It’s hard to figure out how everything would fit just right and of course all my ideas are pricey and it’s not practical to do everything at once.

But aside from those two issues, there is another- the age of Tabitha. She is 9 years old and while she still plays with toys and has a wonderful imagination- how much longer will that last? She already doesn’t play dress up anymore. The other day I told her and Daisy to go be fairies and Daisy jumped right in and flitted about. But Tabitha couldn’t seem to get into it- at least not with Daisy.

This past week Tabitha had a friend over, one who is 8 and a half, and they pulled out Tabitha’s capes and played an imagination game. But Tabi has a hard time playing that way with Daisy. She used to be better at it, so I kind of chalk it up to simply growing out of her sister. And that’s where I’m really sad. Many times I’ve thought we should have had Daisy earlier. But that opens the question of whether or not it would even be Daisy and I don’t know that I was ready for a second child before she actually came. It took me a long time to handle going from 1 to 2 kids but I had it easy since Tabitha was already 6 and didn’t have the temperment of say, a 2 year old.

So I feel all this pressure to get the house exactly like I want before Tabitha is too old to enjoy any of it. I’ve never mourned the passing of time, until this past year. Last year we had a really hard time parenting Tabitha and there is still some lingering issues. They definitely make me wish I could slow down her aging a bit. I don’t want to hold her back and treat her younger than she is, but neither do I want to run as fast as we can to the next stage. I feel like her “little girl” time is coming to an end.

I just want to catch her and hold her just a little longer.

Topics: Life, Teriffic T |

3 Responses to “not quite regret”

  1. Mel Says:
    March 1st, 2008 at 9:17 am

    Boy do I know what you mean. B acts like a “tween” a lot of the time lately even though she is still in toys stage and likes Barbies, etc. Then on the other hand she is buying teen mags and tearing out the posters for her bedroom walls…and having what I call diva tantrums, emotional teary outbursts for no apparent reason other than her hormones are already clicking into place. Sigh. I feel the childhood days are numbered and it makes me sad. We dropped her off at her friend’s yesterday for an 8 hour “half sleepover” thing and it was so weird to be without her like that for so many hours (never done it before for more than say, 2-4 hours) and I realized it’s just the tip of the iceberg to the day her friends will become a bigger part of her world than just her parents. Ugh! I know it’s all natural and such but makes me a bit sad.

  2. Vanessa Says:
    March 1st, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    I think 8-10 years old is a real transition time for kids. I saw a lot of changes in Gillian last year, and I’ve seen a lot even in the short time since she turned 9. She still plays with toys, but more and more, she’s choosing other activities — usually reading, writing or the computer — and I’ve noticed that she asks for toys less often than she used to. We can go all the way through Target without hitting the toy department, and that never would have happened a year ago. (Mind you, if I actually tried to clear out some of her existing toys to make space in her bedroom, she would have a fit, but that’s another story.)

    At first I thought it was kind of early for that, but when I look back, I can remember going through the same change at about her age — from spending all day playing dolls and imagination games with my best friend when I was 8, to only occasionally doing that sort of thing by the time I was 10. It makes me a bit sad, because she’s my only child and once the little-girl stage is gone, that’s it. But like you, I neither want to hold her back nor rush her ahead. It’s probably been the dilemma of mothers since time began.

  3. Marion Goulding Says:
    March 1st, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    Hi. I happened on your blog a couple of years ago and catch up with you when I can. I had to comment on this post….oh my, do I feel the same way. I had my kids all in my 30’s and I am dealing with a 17 year old, a 14 year old, and my baby girl will be 11 in July…she is growing out of her princess stage…and even her build a bears and webkins and cares more about clothes, etc…I’ve always had a younger child to buy toys for…she’s my baby, so I’m dealing with getting much older myself and not having a little child to spoil.