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self esteem

By Tara Zandra | April 8, 2006

Got some of my positive self image back tonight, and I did it by skipping my walk. About a month ago I decided to strip my hair and recolor it a slightly lighter color. See, I absolutely hate coloring my hair, I’ve been doing it about 12 years now. I was genetically cursed gifted with premature gray hair. At 19 I got tired of people mentioning I had gray hair (as if I didn’t know!) and decided to add a little kick and put some red in my hair. I never looked back and have loved the color of my hair all these years, though I have managed to forget a couple of unfortunate results here and there. In any case, though I have pale skin and green eyes, my natural pre-gray hair color is a rather dark brown and my eyebrows are medium-dark. But alas, my hair is basically 99% gray at this point and man do those roots show quickly with dark hair which means coloring more often. So I made that ill-fated decision to go lighter.

Everyone commented on it, including my bil’s friend who has met me maybe half a dozen times. It was different for me and I hated it with a passion. I have spent the last month saying “I hate how I look” every time I looked in the mirror. And I’m a bit vain so I look often. Today I decided I flat out could not take it anymore and I was going to color it a little darker as soon as dinner was done. That meant no walk but it was so worth it. After I dried my hair and looked in the mirror I finally felt that I looked like me again.

Though I did not use a red tone, it’s hard to get that out so there is still a tinge of red if you look closely. Otherwise, I’m pleased. Even if I have to color my hair every other week, I simply cannot go light brown, it’s not me and I look and feel horrid.

Topics: Life |

3 Responses to “self esteem”

  1. Vanessa Says:
    April 9th, 2006 at 12:46 am

    I have the same ongoing grey roots/dark hair issue, and I actually got highlights last time I had my hair colored to combat it. They look good, but it is hard to get used to having lighter hair. (I was a blonde kid, though, so at least I have some experience.) Anyway, glad you’re feeling like yourself now!

  2. Melody Says:
    April 9th, 2006 at 6:27 am

    I bet you look gorgeous! Any pictures? I need to find a color for my hair, and stick with it. Red never stayed on me, it faded too fast. I tried an ash blond, it only looks apricotty if that’s a word. I bought a box of a sort of golden brown, we’ll see how that goes. I don’t have but a few grays, but lately that’s ALL I see when I’m looking in the mirror!
    I think as women we tend to be our own worst critic when it comes to how we look. I keep trying to stop myself from saying I hate my hair, because of a gal I know in one of my groups who is completely bald right now from chemo. So I will bless my head of hair even if I do have split ends and am in despereate need of a haircut. :)

  3. JennAnne Says:
    April 10th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    Were you lighter at our playdate?? If so it wasn’t much, cause I didn’t notice.

    I like my color. medium brown with a hint of red. I’m just lazy about coloring every few weeks as is needed.