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By Tara Zandra | March 25, 2013


Tomorrow I put my trust and faith in nine Justices to do the right thing.

Prop 8 never should have happened.

DOMA, at least, is from over 15 years ago. There is no excuse for Prop 8.

Why do I care? I’m heterosexual, have no immediate family members* who are homosexual and am not personally affected by the outcome. Except I am affected as a human being. As an American.

Equal rights.

As a child I was first introduced to the idea of “gay” by the tv show Three’s Company. The male lead character had to pretend to be gay for the landlord to allow him to live with two women. Needless to say there were many jokes and the limp wrist gesture was used often to intimate that being gay equaled being effeminate.

In elementary school, us girls often walked around the playground talking and we’d hold hands because that’s a sign of affection. I distinctly remember being warned that only “lesbos” held hands. I don’t recall my reaction or whether or not I changed my habits.

I vaguely remember the big deal when Rock Hudson died of AIDS and his homosexuality was at the forefront of the news.

In high school I did not have any friends who were out. Thanks to facebook, of course, I now know that I did have at least two gay friends.

Post high school though is really where the whole idea of being homosexual isn’t any different than being hetereosexual started taking root. I worked at Disneyland for a little more than 7 years starting when I was 17. Disney is a company that attracts people from all walks of life so I had friends, male and female, who are homosexual. My friends were my friends and how they were born had no bearing on our friendship.

Now I’m not perfect. Lord knows I’ve laughed at and made jokes where gay people were the butt of the joke. And yes, totally guilty of using stereotypes to make a snap decision of whether or not someone is homosexual. There is always room for growth and the best I can do is learn from past mistakes.

Chris and I don’t always agree on everything political but on equal rights for LGBTQ, we are more than on the same page. We were both very happy when in 2004 the Mayor of San Franciso allowed city officials to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples. To us both, it’s a no-brainer. Just as reading about the injustice of “colored” drinking fountains in history class made us wonder how anyone could treat other humans in such a manner, we shake our heads in disbelief that anyone could possibly care who marries who. Seriously. The only marriages that have ever affected me were my own and that of my parents.

The travesty of Prop 8 is that a law was passed that took rights away! Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness- unless you’re gay, apparently. That’s essentially what Prop 8 said. And now I rely on appointed Justices to make things right.

So why do I care?

Why wouldn’t I care?

We’re all human.

We’re all American.

Everyone deserves the same rights.


*I say my immediate family meaning our parents and siblings. I make no assumptions on my children until they say one way or the other.

Topics: Life |

2 Responses to “NO H8”

  1. Jeremy Says:
    March 25th, 2013 at 9:43 pm

    Let me start by saying I am Christian. Right before the election, I talked to another Christian coworker who said, “I don’t get the gay thing, but something about this [Prop 8] just seems wrong. He also noted how it took rights away. I know what the Bible says, but Jesus called us to love ALL people. As long as common-law marriages by a justice of the peace is legal, why not a committed gay couple? I know a lesbian couple married longer than me. Gay marriage doesn’t threaten marriage; only divorce does.

  2. Tara Zandra Says:
    March 25th, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    Well said, Jeremy :)
    We were actually married by a justice of the peace, I don’t consider us less married than anyone else.