By Tara Zandra | February 5, 2013
Chris didn’t hear his alarm this morning so it woke me up. It was playing “Carry On” by fun. As we know, I adore them so I took it as a sign of how good my day was going to be. Nope! What it really meant was being awakened half an hour early was as good as my day was going to get.
There is so much shit today. But here’s where I feel obligated to clarify that they aren’t big problems in the grand scheme of life. I get that, I truly do. But I so often feel that I can’t complain about anything that’s bothering me because other people have it worse off and therefore I should be able to deal with it. So I feel I can’t vent, even here because I can feel the rolling of the eyes by the readers. I have great friends, but I do feel that my problems are considered small by them and looked down on so I can’t say anything at all.
And I’m not feeling my best today, I’m dealing with a jealousy issue which is a trait I do not like in me. It’s not something I deal with on a regular basis but it’s there today and I really need to find a way to embrace that which makes someone else happy and just get past it. Plus it’s not necessarily something I’ll never have, just not something I have right now.
I know, sense isn’t really being made, it’s all vague but I truly have to get this out even if I’m the only person who knows what I’m talking about.
I’m also having other people’s pettiness crop up within a community that I am partly responsible for. I have little desire to put out a fire that I did not start.
Then there’s just a big ol’ bad thing that sucks so completely and therefore it’s clouding my judgement of everything else.
Topics: Life |