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ego trip

By Tara Zandra | November 14, 2012

Let me tell you, I am getting compliments left and right lately. I’ve had more than one person ask if I’ve lost weight, which, I have. I’m down about 15lbs since April. It’s slow going, but they say the slow route makes it easier to keep it off so hopefully “they” know what they are talking about. I can actually wear 3 pairs of pants easily that a year ago barely zipped up and looked terrible on me. I’m about 10lbs away from 3 other pairs of pants that I cannot wait to get into, one for the first time since I bought them online for next to nothing and was too lazy to return them.

Halloween candy in the house has been a real challenge and there are definitely days where I eat far, far too much of it. But I try to remember that’s it not a failure or even a setback, just one day in the game of life and there is always opportunity to do better with one’s self. Working out is not optional most days though I have to take a day off here and there simply for sleep reasons. I find I miss it on those days and wish I could just wake the kids up later so I could still work out. Ideally I’d have my own space but that’s not going to happen. The gym is out of the question so I’m very glad I’ve found something that works for me at home. I’d still love a treadmill though just so I could add running (did I just say that?) to my routine. But there isn’t any place to put a treadmill so that’s out. I won’t run in the neighborhood for many reasons and the high school track isn’t open in the evenings- not that I’m here any evenings at all so that does not matter. I’ve actually considered running while Dee is in dance. The location makes it easy and there are many runners/joggers/walkers/bikers using the paths. But then I’d be all gross and sweaty (I do not glisten) and have to drive home like that. Plus now it’s dark when we’re at dance. Maybe I can revisit these unfamiliar running thoughts in the spring when it’s light again.

Anyway, the other day we were at Disneyland and getting ready to walk from the parking structure to the parks. We were waiting at the tram crosswalk and then given the go ahead. As I walked by the parking lot host he told me my “hair looks great today.” Why, thank you person I’ve never met before! I’ve been trying for the last month or so to not wear a ponytail 7 days a week and many of my friends have noticed but this is the first perfect stranger to compliment me out of the blue. I don’t care if he was just being nice and didn’t mean it, made my day, let me tell you.

I’m also trying to alter the whole jeans and t-shirt thing I usually have going on. I started that change last year by buying casual jewelry and wearing skirts and dresses on ocassion. This year I’m trying to kick it up a notch, my friends probably wonder what happened, but if I’m failing in my attempt to not look like a slobby mom, at least they aren’t telling me I look ridiculous. And I’m currently at the dream spot with my kid, we can share shoes! I have my eye on a pair of boots that are $50 which is unheard of for me to pay for shoes. For some reason I’m really cheap when it comes to shoes. But now that Tabi can wear heels for a bit, I can justify the cost because we can both wear them so totally worth it ;)

I guess this is all part of my middle-age break down? Mid-life crisis, that’s it, I guess. I’ll be 40 in a year and a half and it’s weighing on my mind. My motto, getting older is better than the alternative, is being tested. Every age has been fine and even 39 next year doesn’t bother me, but the idea of 40 hurts more than I thought it would. I’ve got time to work on my attitude. Anyway, I’m guessing this is why I suddenly care about my appearance, working out, and am into younger than me, thin, often gay, guys who wear makeup. Of course, my husband is younger than me, as were 2 previous guys I dated, so that’s not a new thing. But no one I’ve ever dated has worn makeup, I usually prefer guys with meat on their bones, and to my knowledge no past boyfriends have come out. I think I’m over-analyzing. Stupid Disney with their Hatters and pirates.

Enough navel gazing for today! Guess those compliments went to my head ;)

Topics: Life, On the fitness track |

3 Responses to “ego trip”

  1. Vanessa Says:
    November 14th, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    This reminds me that I haven’t seen you in person in, like two years. :0 You must be looking fab - enjoy the compliments!

    Re: age, I just turned 41 and occasionally have a moment of going “OMG, am I really that old?” but in general it hasn’t been a big deal. I remember being a lot more bothered by turning 30 - I worried about that for the whole year I was 29, but the year I was 39 I just kind of thought “meh, whatever.”

    And, I wish I could share shoes with Gillian, but at a 9.5 she’s a whole size bigger than me. We do wear the same size in clothes, although the sharing is a lot more one-sided than I’d like - she goes shopping for outfits in my closet all the time, but if I wore something of hers she’d probably freak out. LOL

  2. Tara Zandra Says:
    November 16th, 2012 at 8:52 am

    Has it really been that long? Turning 30 didn’t bother me at all and until about 3 months ago, the idea of 40 didn’t bother me either. It’s a new feeling, not so good, and I want to go back to not caring about my age like before.

    Tabitha’s feet have been the same size as mine for almost 2 years and we have traded shoes on occasion. But this is the first time I’m going to buy a pair specifically to share with her and will get her opinion on them before I buy. Her feet have now grown to just a hair larger than mine, but not enough to go up a size.

    We will most likely never wear the same clothing size. I’m still taller and definitely outweigh her by like 50lbs. I know she’ll end up taller than me, but she’s built thinner than I ever was.

  3. Mel Says:
    November 25th, 2012 at 1:59 am

    I think all the changes you are making are great! I wish that motivation would have kicked in for me but I’m pretty much same ol’ now at 43 as I was at 35 or 39…I get more the opposite I think. I care less about my appearance than I used to, like wearing less makeup when I leave the house, not obsessing over not wearing a full set of jewelry, wearing the same thing all week, or whatever. Turning 40 was very hard for me though, I spent the whole day literally in bed feeling sorry for myself and my family brought me food and then left me alone…major pity party! Being older sucks, and nothing will change my mind on that but I’ll take it over the alternative I guess. I wish B and I could share shoes now that we’re both 9.5 but we have nothing close to the same taste!

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