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Long night

By Tara Zandra | August 12, 2012

Chris was feeling off and went to sleep around 6:30 and here it is 9 and he’s still asleep so I think I can assume I won’t see him until tomorrow morning. He napped before lunch too so I wonder if he’s coming down with something.

I’ve got one kid in bed and another hour before the other kid follows suit. At that point I’ll probably stay awake for hours doing absolutely nothing. Why? I haven’t the slightest. For some reason, when Chris goes to bed early, I won’t sleep. I’ll keep myself awake for hours for no reason other than, I’m guessing, sheer stupidity. Even knowing this about me, and know it’s not a smart thing to do, will not change the fact that I will stay awake beyond reason.

I’ve decided to simply keep this blog post open the whole time and type when I feel like it. Because it amuses me and frankly with my low readership, this blog is simply for me at this point. Turns out if you take months and months off from updating you lose just about every reader you ever had. I don’t even think my husband reads anymore, which is kind of sad when you think about it.

Here’s a pathetic story. Last weekend I was at the mall with just my husband. At one point I said I wanted to just look in Gymboree. The back story of this is that I haven’t bought Daisy new clothes since the new year started save for 2 dresses on an extreme sale. I needed to cut back on my spending for an upcoming vacation and her clothes were the obvious choice. On a monthly basis I spend more on her clothes than I will admit to. It’s actually a hobby for me at this point. Also, she has so many clothes, they don’t fit in her closet so I now store the off-season clothes in my room. In order to keep myself from buying her clothes I’ve deleted every email from Gymboree, Tea Collection, Naarjtie, and Hanna Andersson as those are my biggest weaknesses. I have sewn her a few things this year to help me feel like she was getting knew clothes but I truly haven’t bought anything.

So back to last Sunday and I just wanted to look. I knew I wouldn’t buy anything because I had a coupon at home so I felt safe looking. After less than 5-minutes I couldn’t handle the overwhelming cuteness and said I had to leave the store.

That’s not the pathetic part.

Friday I was recounting the story to a friend of mine, saying how I just couldn’t take being in the store and not buying anything for my sweet Daisy. I’m kind of laughing, my friend is laughing and then I realize, I’M CRYING. Seriously, actual tears, more than just watery eyes, all because I remembered I couldn’t buy overpriced kids’ clothes so I could instead fund my freaking vacation.

If this were twitter I’d have a first world problems hash tag. And problem a few hastags alluding to me needing to seek professional help.

Am I the only person who judges others? I mean, how many times have we heard not to worry about what other people think because they are too busy worrying about themselves? Because while I am worrying about myself, I am also judging you. Mainly I’m judging your grammar because really, your and you’re are different. How can so many people post that exact same sentiment on facebook on a near daily basis and yet, the offenders don’t know it’s about them? Oh, and my personal pet peeve- it’s yay. Not yeah. Yeah is a slang of the word yes and does not rhyme with day. Yay means the same as hooray. Now you know.

Big kid in bed. Now it’s just me, the pets, and pinterest. Ooh, speaking of which, I tried another pinterest recipe tonight. Panko fried goat cheese. Oh yeah. So good. Pretty easy too. But really good. I wish it made more, but it’s probably better that it doesn’t. I love pinterest for the recipes and funny shit. But I do wonder why all those people pin so many things related to working out and weight loss when I doubt hardly any of them are actually doing anything about it! Have I talked about this before? I don’t remember. I know I’ve mentioned it to people but not sure if I’ve blogged it. Goodness knows I’m far too lazy to actually look it up. But it’s crazy how many people will post a picture of a super fit girl with some crappy inspirational weight loss saying. That doesn’t do it for me, my inspiration is not in the form of swimsuit models, instead I am inspired by seriously overweight people that don’t know they are overweight and therefore dress inappropriately for their body and look ridiculous (so judging). I work out so I don’t get like that. I will never have killer abs, but I can at least try not to let the muffin top turn into a giant muffin top.

I finished Daisy’s dress last night. It was pretty quick to put together and she says it’s comfortable which is a plus. I’ll share a picture, but it’s distorted because apparently I have forgotten how to hold a camera. I feel most of my pictures lately have a bulbous head effect. Since I see my kids everyday, I’d know if they had actual bulbous heads so I do have to assume it’s my “awesome” photog skillz.


Can we get rid of the word “authentic” in terms of relating to one’s life or self? Real, true, actual, pure, genuine, certain, bona-fide; other words exist.

Listening to Mumford and Sons. Love them so much.

I didn’t even mention what we did today. We kicked ass on getting the house into an acceptable order, that’s what we did. Kids didn’t complain either, though I got eye rolls from one of them (Was it the typical teen or the surly 7 year old? You make the call!) I reorganized the craft and music center because it tends to be a catchall for anything vaguely craft related. Now it’s all neat and shiny except for one shelf. I ran out of steam and it’s going to be the hardest shelf to organize. Maybe tomorrow. Chris got the entertainment center taken care of by wrangling all the wayward DVDs, BluRays, and video games. The girls were given specific jobs that were a mix of taking care of their own crap and house chores. We were done and home from a quick errand by 1:30 which seemed fantastic then somehow the afternoon flew and I was making dinner. Once Chris went to bed, the girls and I did our own thing for a while and then we sat down together to watch the DVD of this year’s dance recital. Since I’m always backstage I don’t get to see the whole thing. I see a decent amount from the wings but I still miss a lot. It was nice to get to see my girls dances, but I also have friends who children are at the same studio so I got to see those dances and sometimes a dance just seems interesting and I want to watch it even if I don’t know the kids. Overall, despite my aloneness this evening, I call the day a win.

Still not tired of “Call Me Maybe.” Especially when Abercrombie & Fitch guys are dancing to it.

Enjoyed watching Matt Bomer interviews on youtube, I think it’s time I hopped into bed. I probably won’t sleep for a while though, I like to play Sudoku on my phone for a bit. I enjoyed throwing my thoughts out there as they came to me, but in a different way than facebook. Though some of it is definitely more facebook than blog worthy. But again, I’ve got 6 readers, if that, so I’ll type what I want :)

Topics: Life, Sew What's New |

2 Responses to “Long night”

  1. Melissa Says:
    August 14th, 2012 at 9:55 am

    Yeah - I’m still a reader. Yay! and I totally judge people for grammar/spelling. When Carina was 2-3 yrs old, I saw a psychologist because I was spending WAY too much money on her clothes (outfits, really - she couldn’t wear just clothes). Cried a bit this summer when she told me she wouldn’t wear Naartjie anymore. We just got a store - darn it! She still has more clothes than C, but I’ve cut down a lot too. Just know you are not the only one :)

  2. Melyssa Says:
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:21 pm

    My pet peeve is a friend who always spells it “yah”. I’m never sure if she means ‘yeah’ or what. ?? Drives me nuts but she’s a good person otherwise so I try to suck it up. LOL
    I do my best to ignore the overly fit girl weight loss stuff on Pinterest because it’s so annoying. It doesn’t inspire me to do shit either because even if I worked out hours a day every day I wouldn’t look like a swimsuit model being 43 years old…I have stretch marks that aren’t going anywhere, as just one example. I don’t even think plastic surgery and lipo would help much at this point. I much prefer looking at the truly awful looking people in ill-fitting clothes and feeling better that it could be worse for me. LOL Sad but true.
    Your post reminded me of the original ‘weblogs’ of the late 90’s and early 2000’s. I really liked doing that. Then for some reason it became annoying to people and most only wanted to read one post per day. I much prefer shorter snippets, truth be told.