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still trying to work things out

By Tara Zandra | April 28, 2009

I’ve lost a little bit of the blogging mojo as I continue to strive for that inner calm I’ve be lacking. Tabitha did not help matters when she said to me before bed on Sunday that she really wishes the weekends were longer and that she don’t like having the week all laid out for her. I was completely taken aback as that is the kind of talk I would expect from someone who has a job or goes to school. I consider her days fairly idyllic despite her activities, which is why I was so surprised. I did a lot of thinking that night before I fell asleep and quite a bit the next day before she woke up. Eventually we talked and she claimed not to mean it the way I was taking it. I don’t know, I’m hoping she wasn’t just saying what she thought I wanted to hear. We talked about her lessons and activities for close to an hour so I could really understand what she meant. I did feel better after we talked, but I still continued to think on it more to myself. In the end, we’ve decided to give up dance and ice skating. We can’t quit dance until after the recital at the end of June, but we will not be re-enrolling in the fall. I originally thought I’d put Daisy in a parks and rec dance class, but after reading the description online, it’s really not for her. It would be for 3 and 4s and not only will she be 4.5, but she has experience and thrives in a structured setting. I don’t think the parks and rec class would be demanding enough for her. But I do feel we need to cut back and unfortunately, Daisy’s dance class will be one of the casualties. She intends to start violin when she’s 5 so she’ll have something else soon enough. And perhaps after a year off, she can go back into ballet when it wouldn’t be a combo class anymore.

So that’s been occupying my mind, of late. It all sounds simple when typed out, but there’s other things going on that are making inner peace next to impossible for me to achieve right now; I think I’m getting a new frown line every day, lol. I decided not to get up with an alarm this morning and slept until 8:00am when both kids woke up. That does not work for me and I definitely start the day much better if I’m up hours before the kids and do my yoga and whatnot. So at least that is on the right track and I will resume my 5:30am wake-up call tomorrow morning. Sounds insane, I know, to get up that early by choice, but if it’s working then I need to continue.

This evening was filled with fun which went a long way towards making me feel normal again. First, we finally made s’mores with the new vegan marshmallows we got a few weeks ago. ¡Muy delisioso! Even Daisy ate them and she is vehemently anti-marshmallow. Mix them with melted chocolate though and the kid can’t resist :)

After our gooey treat, Chris and I play some Samba de Amigo on the Wii while the kids rauccously danced around us. He and I really got into it and even broke a mild sweat, lol. Definitely good for getting out some tension. Tabitha ended the evening with a bit of High School Musical Dance Dance and I’m ashamed to say, Chris and I find it very fun as well. We didn’t play tonight, but did on Sunday and enjoyed ourselves immensly. We’re a sucker for any Dance Dance game, too bad the only one we own is HSM!

I hope to resume normal blogging activity tomorrow with my usual ramblings of what the day entailed.

Topics: Life |

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