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simply to write

By Tara Zandra | July 27, 2006

I was thinking today how many people who don’t actually know Chris know anything about him simply by reading my blog. I know there are plenty of wives out there who use their blog as a venting tool and merely bitch about their husbands with the occasional nice word tossed in. That’s not my style though as I’ve always held the belief that if I wouldn’t say it to him personally then I have no business posting a grievance online. And then, there are those things that I do say to him, and probably shouldn’t, therefore they don’t get posted either.

To put it simply, Chris is a phenomenal father and a saint of a husband. When he reads this he’ll roll his eyes and pishaw me, but it is true. I’m so very difficult to get along with, let alone live with, and yet he does it every day. When we married my father thanked Chris for taking me off his hands. For the first few years of our marriage my mother frequently admonished me to “be nice” to him if I dared speak ill of Chris when he wasn’t around.

As a father you will not find a man more involved in his children’s lives. Whether someone needs to be fed, hugged, played with, diapered, taken somewhere or simply listened to, he is there. I do not ask him to take care of his children, he just does. From the moment he walks in the door after work he is as much the person in charge as I. And Daddy walking through the door is an event in the Anc house. The minute he pulls into the driveway and I opened the front door to welcome him home, Tabitha’s ears prick up with the turning of the lock and “! Daddy? Daddy’s home! Daisy, Daddy’s home!” at which point the littlest Anc comes running and twirls around in circles in the entry way saying “Da-eee!” Chris often has to pick both kids up at the same time because they are both clamoring for him. It is to his credit that no matter how bad of day he may have had, it all melts away once he’s home. He has said more than once how all is better now that he’s home with us.

I am happy he is home, but in a quiet way. For when he is off work he calls me on his cell phone and we talk for his entire drive home, save for the 10 minutes he’s in a drop zone. Tabitha generally knows I prefer she play with Daisy during that time so Chris and I can attempt to talk uninterrupted about our day. By the time he comes home I’ve had a good amount of time of him to myself, even if it’s just on the phone, and can step back to let the kids have him for awhile.

We watch tv together every night after the kids go to bed not so much because we love tv, but because of the time together. I cherish that alone time with him and would not trade it for anything. There are nights when I feel we maybe haven’t had enough time together and we just turn off the tv and sit in the dark for hours talking. We also eat lunch together on the weekends in front of the computer and do crosswords. Neither of us is a crossword fanatic, but we have fun doing them together.

I won’t pretend he’s flawless but the ones he does have are fairly minor. He’s not one to take it upon himself to notice housework that needs to be done, but if he’s asked by me, he has no problem working. We also don’t think alike and that can lead to miscommunication- most times I think that’s more me than him but if I’m always right then it has to be his fault for not understanding me properly ;)

So who is he other than a husband and father? He’s a sports guy for one. He gets really into hockey and baseball and follows basketball and, to a lesser extent, football. He even pays attention to soccer. He plays video games for fun and mainly plays sports games. Though he’ll play Mario games with Tabitha and quest/adventure games with me.

He’s an industrious worker. If he starts a project he will see it through until it’s done, and done very well. Drives me nuts because I’m more of a “get it done” type person and expect him to be the same but he’s thorough and meticulous. Very detailed oriented, which makes him ideal for the nitty-gritty type cleaning around the house and that nicely complements my quick cleaning to make the house neat and tidy.

He is secure in his morals. He has his values and does his best to live by them. He has always been open to my way of thinking and has also shared his views with me so that we might walk together on the same moral path.

He reads all sorts of genres with his favorite being science fiction. But he also will periodically pull out Shakespeare just for fun. He keeps current with politics and can have an intelligent conversation about current events. Yet he’s also the type who enjoys Monty Python and loved Napolean Dynamite.

The above paragraph is pretty much the exact opposite of me and I’ve had to endure many quotes and political jokes that I do not appreciate. But still, he tells me and I listen. Because of the love you see.

He has his quirks, of course. He has no short term memory to speak of. He remembers the important stuff like birthdates and anniversaries but send him to the store for more than one item and I can almost guarantee he’ll call me to ask about the second item. He also enjoys accents. The most common would be Scottish and he will spend hours only talking with a Scottish accent. Sad to say that after all these years I hardly notice the change and sometimes even find it quite amusing.

‘All these years’ I said. For today marks our 10 year wedding anniversary. 10 years ago I vowed to love him and accept his love forever. The vows were standard for a civil ceremony, but the meaning much deeper. It’s more than sickness/ health, rich/poor, good/bad. Finding him was good luck. Falling in love with him was the best gift I ever gave myself.

Topics: Life |

5 Responses to “simply to write”

  1. Miss Quinlan Says:
    July 27th, 2006 at 1:37 pm

    Congratulations! I wish all of the best luck to both of you on your tenth anniversary!

  2. Mandi Says:
    July 27th, 2006 at 10:02 pm

    Happy Anniversary!! I am so happy for you two. Your union, and your love sounds very much like my own marriage. And it pleases me to no end to hear and feel the happiness your marriage brings. Congrats on the 10th! :o ) Have fun celebrating!!! heh

  3. Suzanne Says:
    July 28th, 2006 at 7:43 am

    Happy Anniversary, Chris and Zandra! That was a beautiful tribute to your husband. You are both lucky to have each other.
    I hope you are able to have a nice celebration together.

  4. JennAnne Says:
    July 28th, 2006 at 1:58 pm

    I missed the day of, but wish you both congratulations on celebrating 10 years together. I hope the celebration was wonderful fun!!!

  5. Melody Says:
    July 30th, 2006 at 9:12 am

    I love it! We’ve never met either of you in person but Jim took a liking to Chris a long time ago when I told him what a great father and husband he is. (based on what you wrote.) I described your marriage as “like ours” and told him about your writings on what a terrific father he is. That means something to Jim. He holds a very high respect towards men who can be terrific fathers as well as husbands. He didn’t have that growing up, his father was just an unloving, uncaring, un-involed cold u know what! So he knows how important it is. And of course I’m a daughter who’s father wasn’t around, so I know how important it is for little girls to have loving fathers in their lives. Things like that make me smile and feel all happy inside!
    I love reading stuff like this! When a friend asked me one week ago “you know how you have those times when you just get on eachother’s nerves?” I stammered and went uhhhh….., then I blurted “well, we’re not like people!” I know so few people who are as in love with eachother as we are. Most of my friends are separated or pondering it.
    So this entry was a joy to read! :)